Should I choose family over my boyfriend?
Published : 28 Apr 2017, 19:21
Question: I am 29-year-old woman and have a steady boyfriend. Everything was going fine until my parents fixed my marriage all of a sudden. It's an arranged marriage. When I tried talking to my mother, she said my father will never allow me to marry my boyfriend.
She eventually broke down and I had to give in. When I tried to prepare my boyfriend about the same, he said he can't imagine his life without me and started blaming me for the situation.
Now, I am in such a fix! Neither can I go against my parents nor can I leave my boyfriend in a lurch. Please guide me on what should be the future course? - By Anonymous
Answer by Rachana Awatramani: I understand that you are in a very difficult situation - your parents have arranged your marriage and your boyfriend has also been blaming you for the situation. I also see that you tried talking to your mother and she has not been supportive.
If you and your boyfriend are sure about getting married to each other then I would suggest that you can speak about your situation to another family member, your cousin, your uncle or aunt, who can support you and speak to your father.
You can also ask your boyfriend or your boyfriend's parents to speak to your parents about your relationship. I also understand that your parents might be not open to your relationship and ask you questions you can patiently answer to their questions and doubts.
Before that also have an open and clear conversation with your boyfriend about your relationship and marriage.
If you still find it challenging to cope with your situation then you can also seek help and guidance from a professional counselor.
- Ms Rachana Awatramani is a Counselling Psychologist
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